All in Life Notes

When a Bajan Child Goes Home

I spent the first ten years of my life on Bajan soil. I chased chickens and was chased by cows. I wore neatly pressed blue overalls and crisp white shirts to school every day.  My black school shoes were always polished to a high shine and the sea breeze would ruffle the blue ribbons in my hair. I ate fried fish for breakfast and coucou for dinner. I watched Sesame Street at 4 o’ clock every evening and Days of Our Lives at 6 o’ clock because we only had one channel. My granny jumped rope with me and took me to the beach to sit in shallow sea water and collect shells. I’ve had Joseph’s Coat stain my clothes and ate my fill of Shirley Biscuits, mangos and sugar cane. I am a Bajan child.

I moved to Florida when I was ten and to Canada a year later. I dropped my accent because the kids teased me. I didn’t really listen to calypso or soca music, and I learned to love lasagna way more than I ever liked coucou and flying fish. I suppose you can say I became Americanized, a “photocopy Bajan” as my boyfriend so lovingly calls me. But still, I clung to my status as a Bajan. I was as proud of the blue and yellow flag with the broken trident as anyone born on the island. Ask me if we’re better than Jamaicans and you might have a real argument on your hands. I am a Bajan child.

Should have...Didn't...And That's Ok.

I wrote my last exam of my fourth year at York University on Friday. It should have been my last exam of my undergraduate. I should be attending convocation this year. I should be framing and hanging my degree this winter.  I should be applying to graduate programs. I should be…I should be… I should be. But I’m not. I am not graduating this year, because despite having been at York for four years, I am not done my program. And I won’t be done next year, and I’m not even sure I’ll be done the year after that.

At first, I was incredibly depressed by this realization. As my classmates made plans to take grad photos and celebrated handing in final exams and essays, I made plans to take time off of school and work full-time to pay off my student debt. Despite pulling a fantastic average throughout my entire university career, I felt like I’d failed. I had wanted to complete my program in the prescribed four years, and I hadn’t. I hadn’t achieved what I should have.

Oh Twitter: Land of the Foolish, Home of the Stupid

I’ve got the formula for Twitter fame. After two years of close and careful observation, I’ve come to the conclusion that to attain Twitter fame, one must follow one or all of the following steps very carefully. Either be exceptionally pretty (gorgeous ladies and gents, I can’t knock you for this), or be a completely disrespectful ignoramus. I ought to be more specific about how to be a disrespectful ignoramus. Go on and make entirely tasteless race or gender jokes, explain what a man or woman is based entirely on arbitrary rules, or leak peoples nudes for fun. Yeah, that sounds about right.

That’s not to say that there aren’t people who have enormous Twitter followings because they are in some way intelligent or talented, but there is a massive section of Twitter that is glorifying absolute idiots, retweeting their stupidness and validating their ignorance. Those with the audacity to challenge the stupid get laughed off with more illogical arguments and unfounded insults. I’ve reached the point where I just don’t argue with stupid people because I realize they’re only being intentionally ignorant and offensive, but when did we stop laughing at idiots and start laughing with them.