Got Peter Pan Syndrome: Here's How to Get Over it and Accept Growing Up

I distinctly remember being little and always wanting to be older. As a kid, I wanted to be a teen; as a teen I wanted to be an adult. Adulthood seemed like a magical land where you got to make your own decisions and live by your own rules. You could have Frosted Flakes for dinner, go to bed at 3am, wake up at noon and wear pyjamas all day. Adulthood was that fantastic place where no one could tell you what to do, send you to your room, or force you to make polite conversation with people you didn’t like. Adulthood was the goal. I don’t know many kids who didn’t think, “I can’t wait to be a grown up.” I certainly did. I longed for independence and the freedom to do as I pleased.

 

And then one day, it happened to me. I was a grown up. I lived on my own, I ate what I wanted,  slept for too many hours or none at all, and came and went as I pleased. And it was glorious, for a time. And then along came bills and rent and taxes and grocery lists and laundry piles and a job I disliked and forced polite conversation with the people who signed my pay cheque and essay due dates and all-nighters and student debt. Along came reality.

Uncensored: Why I Won't Bite my Tongue

[Disclaimer: I hate that I have to say this, but I’d like to make it clear that the following post does not in any way justify the use of racial slurs, or derogatory terms towards women, LGBQT persons, individuals with disabilities, any minority group, or any individual. Period. There is a difference between opinion and derogation and discrimination.]

 

As a writer, I'm no stranger to controversy, anger and confrontation about my opinions. I've been dealing with that for about as long as I've been able to properly express myself. Growing up, I was an only child for many years and being the baby of the house, I got away with a lot, some of which included spouting off my many opinions unabashedly. As I grew older, I remained opinionated and just as uninhibited about spreading those opinions. Once I was given the outlet of writing, and a larger audience to share those opinions with, things really got dicey. In high school, I once published a poem in the school newspaper about how I felt that black youth needed to stop blaming society for their own shortcomings. Needless to say, some of my school mates were none too pleased and saw fit to let me and a few teachers know about it. I found myself both fiercely defensive and deeply afraid, and wondered whether I ought to have censored myself. That was my first brush with the question of censorship and I've been battling that ever since.

Is Gay the New Black? Why we Should be Allies Instead of Enemies

ne of the most baffling things I have ever encountered is the prevalence of black homophobia. In my mind, that’s pretty much an oxymoron. It’s hard to understand how someone who is discriminated against daily, solely based on the colour of their skin, could be so dead set on hating another person who is discriminated against because of who they happen to love. Think of how bizarre it sounds to say, “You can’t hate me because I’m black! That’s wrong!” then moments later, spew hate-filled words at a pair of men in love.

 

The other day, someone asked my opinion on the comparison of the fight for black civil rights to the LGBQT community’s battle for equal marriage rights. Her argument was that it was disrespectful to compare years of institutionalized racism, brutality and slavery to the discrimination that gays face in today’s society. It was a comparison I had encountered before. If you do a quick Google search for “gay vs. black” or “gay is the new black” you get an overwhelming number of hits. This idea isn’t new, nor is the upset it has caused.