May 13

May 13 Uncensored: Why I Won't Bite my Tongue

[Disclaimer: I hate that I have to say this, but I’d like to make it clear that the following post does not in any way justify the use of racial slurs, or derogatory terms towards women, LGBQT persons, individuals with disabilities, any minority group, or any individual. Period. There is a difference between opinion and derogation and discrimination.]

As a writer, I'm no stranger to controversy, anger and confrontation about my opinions. I've been dealing with that for about as long as I've been able to properly express myself. Growing up, I was an only child for many years and being the baby of the house, I got away with a lot, some of which included spouting off my many opinions unabashedly. As I grew older, I remained opinionated and just as uninhibited about spreading those opinions. Once I was given the outlet of writing, and a larger audience to share those opinions with, things really got dicey. In high school, I once published a poem in the school newspaper about how I felt that black youth needed to stop blaming society for their own shortcomings. Needless to say, some of my school mates were none too pleased and saw fit to let me and a few teachers know about it. I found myself both fiercely defensive and deeply afraid, and wondered whether I ought to have censored myself. That was my first brush with the question of censorship and I've been battling that ever since.

Mar 25

Mar 25 Confessions of a Bum: How I Finally Kicked my Butt into Gear

SweetTee

Life Notes

If you’ve visited my blog lately, you may have noticed the tumbleweeds drifting across the open space where blog posts should be. It’s been a solid two months since I’ve posted anything on here, and I really wish I could chalk it up to writer’s block, to being uninspired, to being too busy. But alas, I won’t be getting off so easy. In the past couple of days, I’ve finally decided to face the truth: I haven’t written anything because I’ve been a bum. These are my confessions.

Jan 29

Jan 29 The Art of Giving: How to Give in a World Full of Takers

SweetTee

Life Notes

“You would’ve done the same for me.” I am ashamed of how many times this has been my reply to the words “thank you.” I am ashamed of this because of the implication that I carried out an act of kindness because I would expect the same from the person I did it for. “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” Looking back on all the times that I uttered, “You would’ve done the same for me,” I wonder if I measure up. I have been humbled by the memory of times where I had nothing to give, and needed so much.

A few years ago, I went through a very difficult time in my life during which I was so full of hurt and pain and loss that I couldn't offer anything to anybody if I tried. I lived with a family friend for a few months to escape a toxic home life. I was often like a ghost in their home, moody and unpredictable, but they loved me like one of their own anyway. I spent many sleepless nights awake with friends who understood that I couldn’t bear to be alone when the nightmares haunted me. I spent hours on the phone with friends who helped me carry the weight of my heartache, never complaining about the fact that I was easily distracted and often disinterested in their lives. I was sensitive and distant and hard to get along with, but in spite of that, people took the time to give me love.