Be a Daddy, not a Baby Daddy

Gentlemen, this one’s for you.

I can’t pretend to be an expert on men and their inner workings and desires. Besides, that would require a huge amount of generalization and stereotyping, which is really not my style. But, correct me if I’m wrong, you lovely visual creatures see something you like, or even remember something you saw that you liked, and blood starts flowing South and thoughts start swirling around inside your head, and suddenly you’re on the lookout for somewhere to put your man parts, be it hands, mouth or vagina.

To my knowledge, most men are up for a good roll in the sack with a willing female participant pretty damn often. I am not going to judge you for that. Essentially humans are animals with primal desires, how can I blame you for wanting to fulfill them. As long as your sex cannot be categorized as rape, assault or violation, do your thing.

But here’s my beef, gents. If you’re going to do the do, like they teach you in sex-ed, know the consequences. While I pity those who contract a STI from a good bedding – I pity you even more if the bedding was bad – that’s not the consequence I intend to address. No my dear fellows, I am talking about living, breathing, diaper wearing, crying-in-the-middle-of-the-night consequences: Babies.

I know some of you got a wicked shudder just now when I mentioned the B word, but that’s the reality. Penis + Sperm + Vagina + Egg – fool-proof protection = Bundle of joy, or horror, depending on your perspective. Here’s another reality, there are too many of those precious little beings out there without Daddies. Sure they’ve got fathers, can’t exist without one. (All of you folks who will argue about sperm banks, the sperm came from someone’s testes, no?) But the issue is that there are a lot of single mothers out there. Forgive me for getting into gender roles, but women are nurturers by nature, men logical guidance-givers. Single mothers have to take on both roles, and I have the most respect for that, but those dead-beat fathers should be there because a mother, no matter how hard she tries, cannot grow balls and be a man.

Essentially, I’m saying, men, if you get a woman pregnant, and she chooses to keep that baby, whether you meant to impregnate her or not, that’s your baby now, your responsibility, 23 of those chromosomes are yours. Take claim and be there for that child whether you love that woman or not, because in all fairness, that child didn’t ask to be in this world. I understand the frustration of having a baby on your hands when it was the furthest thing from your plans, but guess what bro, shit happens.

All that being said, a word for the ladies as well. We can be big soft-hearted love puppies sometimes, and we convince ourselves that he’ll never leave, and maybe he won’t. But 9 times out of 10, he’s not your soulmate and he’ll be out the door sooner or later. If you get pregnant for one of these unexpected ship-jumpers, my sympathies love, and I hope he follows the above advice. But if you’re with a guy you know isn’t daddy material, you’d better be 100% sure  you’re not going to get pregnant for him, because if you do, a baby won’t make him stay, it will send him running for the hills faster than you can say, “It’s a Boy!”