I Am Okay . . . And You Will Be Too

I don’t remember a time in my adult life when I wasn’t pre-occupied with my mental health. But this is the first time I can recall feeling okay.

Like genuinely okay. My nervous system feels regulated. I haven’t had an anxiety attack in months. I have managed to get out of bed and function well every single day of 2025 so far.

That may not sound that impressive to the average person. But to the woman I was in my 20s who experienced crippling anxiety, debilitating depression, a constantly weak immune system, and suicidality on a regular basis, this level of ease and wellness is a miracle.

And it’s not because everything in my life is perfect. Far from. I am still navigating challenges and heartaches and traumas. There are still times I have to ask the Universe why she won’t let me unsubscribe from “Strongest Soldiers” list. I am still resisting the urge to crawl into bed and hide from the world on the days when everything just feels too hard.

But I’m also okay. And I am trying my best to trust it.

That trust isn’t easy. I feel like I am always looking over my shoulder, expecting the boogeymen of Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD to be lurking in the shadows. I am always waiting for them to jump me, beat me back into submission, return me to a less composed version of myself.

But the other shoe hasn’t dropped. The rug has not been pulled out from under me. No one has jumped out to yell, “SIKE BITCH!” and drag me back to the hell of my lowest low.

I am okay. I have healed myself enough to handle life’s toughest battles without disintegrating into a bed-rotting puddle. I have done the work to centre myself so I can slow my thoughts, catch my breath, and calm my stomach when I’m facing uncertainty. I don’t expect that I’ll never have another anxiety attack, depressive episode, or PTSD trigger, but I do believe that when they happen, I can bring myself out of it. I have done the work, and it is paying off.

This hasn’t been an easy path. It was a long uphill battle that included:

• A decade in therapy (and three therapists)

• Five years (and counting) on anti-depressants

• A personalized and unwavering wellness regime

• Setting (and keeping) boundaries to protect my peace

• Leaving unhealthy and misaligned friendships 

• Nurturing the relationships that feel healing

• Spending two winters in the Caribbean

• Ending a marriage, being alone, and finding myself

• Having tough conversations with my inner voice

• Committing to fierce self love and radical self-acceptance

This list represents hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars of investing in my mental health. Not all at once. Sometimes, in small, incremental steps. Other times, with big, terrifying leaps. But always in service of my wellness.

I will never be able to stop doing most of the things on this list. Because if I lapse, if I get comfortable or lazy or complacent, Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD will be all too happy to take me back into their darkness and chaos. I have accepted that because my mind is unwell, I will always have to work at being okay. But that is a price I am willing to pay.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I want you to know that if you are in the depths of despair, you can feel okay too. If your mind is unwell (or if life has just dealt you some shitty circumstances that have derailed your wellness), I want you to be assured that there are ways to feel better.  

I want you to find your list of things that help you feel okay and commit to it as much as you can. Because you deserve to experience more good days than bad ones. To have sunshine light up your darkness. To find ways over, through, and around the things that are harming your mental health.

I’m not here to sell you the idea that the right combination of actions will guarantee that you will always feel great. In fact, I’ll be the one to tell you that no matter what you do, you won’t feel good every single day. Life doesn’t work like that, even for people who don’t have mental health disorders. But that fear you have that you will always be at your worst isn’t true.

 It can get better. It will get better.

And when you finally feel okay, I want you to enjoy it. Please don’t waste a minute wondering when it’s all going to go wrong. Because we can’t guarantee that it won’t. But we can relish the feeling of being okay. Of being regulated, at peace, and in ease for as long as we have it.

If you’re finding your way to okay, I’d love to hear what’s been helpful for you. Please share some of the ways you’ve invested in your mental health in the comments!